A pammi aunty clone;For those who haven’t gone through Chetan Bhagat’s 2 states; Pammi aunty is a typical Punjabi aunty character who boast about their family, lives to eat high-calorie food, judge marriages by the type of food, interested in all the gossip in the neighborhood.
It was another usual 4 o clock evening in Mumbai except my trip to Delhi for my friend’s marriage. I boarded 2952 Mumbai-Delhi Rajdhani from Bombay Central in the Second Class AC coach. I was greeted by a sikh gentleman and a lady accompanied by aunty. However, a few minutes later I realized that aunty was the one traveling and the lady and gentleman, who were all over the opposite two berths, came to see her off. I was allotted the upper birth no 40 while the aunty (pummi aunty clone) was at berth no 39.
Moments later a gentleman came and took the opposite upper birth. The diversity of chit chat made me think that the family observes a ‘maun vrat’ (intentional silence) at home. Five minutes later a muslim uncle came with long white beard in a neat and clean white kurta with a cap on his head accompanied by similarly clad two gentlemen who came to drop him.
The couple on side berth had just got a water bottle and the lady (pammi aunty’s daughter) murmured into her mother ear’s, which was probably audible to passenger’s in the next coach, why did they need to bring water when rajdhani serves it.
She should have been put into a juvenile court for her adolescence innocence. She then further extended the unsolicited liberty by asking the male part of the couple to change seats with her mom as she was not comfortable with the muslim uncle opposite her. However, with an agreement between the gentleman (pammi aunty’s son) and me settled the seats as they were.
“We’ve been to all parts of the country as my husband is in a transferring job with XX (name changed) petroleum company” Pammi Aunty said.
‘I am traveling almost after 7 years in train, otherwise I keep travelling but on flights. Vaise, I am coming by GO AIR” Pammi aunty added.
‘Are you from Delhi’ she asked.
I nodded in agreement.
‘You musn’t be liking Bombay?’ she ans-inquired
‘NO Aunty…I think people are good…but…’
‘Yes beta, it depends on people very much’
I am cutting short her conversation to prolong your interest in the article. She then carried on with her take on marriages and told me about how people in Kolkata, South India (especially about south Indian girls, who are very FAST in her view), Maharastrian (who are lazy), Delhiites (who are very proud).
‘Our kids like Bombay so I’ve asked my husband who is a CEO in XX company and currently in Bilaspur. He is currently in Bilaspur because he just got a promotion and became DGM’.
How on holy earth one gets affing promoted from a CEO to DGM???
He has got a flat for us in BKC (with her eyes twinkling). But then, as you know pammi aunty, ‘the house is just a 2BHK and we north Indians have a habit of living in large houses’
‘Beta, we even have a house in defence colony (posh area in delhi), OWN PROPERTY, but we seldom go there.’
She then revealed that her son is in MMS 1st year from some unknown institute while her daughter is in b.com ist year (that’s why adolescence innocence) who gave up engineering after 2 months because she didn’t find it interesting.
The gala continued till she had the supper and cribbed about the quality of food and concluded that I can’t eat much of it as she left two-three spoons of rice of the provided meal. This ‘can’t eat much’ was after a cheese sandwich, kachori, gulab jamun and tea in snacks at 5 followed by a tomato soup at 730 with a meal of two parathan, rice, paneer matar, dal and 125 gms ice cream at 8 .
However, the best part of the trip was the contact I was able to generate of her husband in marketing of XX company (not yet proved) :).
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