After a long long time back to scribblin :)
Which is better - love marriage or arrange? This is unanswered for ages, we have our own views and cases around us. I was pondering over the issue for sometime as most of my friends are either married or tying the knot soon. I realized the answers were there but they just had to be extracted.
The view is too narrow while getting into the relationship and excitement of the moment makes you forget everything but a thought “I like/love him/her”. How many couples don’t fight after a few months of excitement and start having problems?
When two people come closer initially; assumingly based on physical attraction, they feel the click; and if the interests are similar, you like to spend more time with the person. If you further get the compatibility in thought and hygiene factors, you achieve a perfect recipe for love. I’ve not seen examples with these ingredients failing unless something grossly goes wrong.
However, the usual misnomer – love marriages fail is sure a half baked recipe lacking one or more ingredients mentioned earlier. Do we ever ask if it was meant to work? Were all the ingredients there in right proportion? Did we really have an acid test? Did we do something out of duty and not enjoyment?
A classic example which I’ve seen in many couples is that where two people get attracted to each other and start spending time. The attraction takes them to two, three, fourth month of the relationship till they are ready to sacrifice or compromise their self for the other person. However, as soon as the spark of the attraction faces the grunt of either compatibility and/or respect, soon as a result of the conflict - the fights become frequent; late night talks usually have complains than complements; ‘why did you’ starts taking place of ‘it’s ok, no worries’; excitement becomes a duty for one person while the other keeps over powering before the bubble bursts one day and the evergreen four words are spoken: ‘It can’t work anymore’.
Do love marriages really fail? Or we aren’t able to understand love in the first place? Theoretically for me, love is an apt formulation of particles of physical attraction, compatibility and respect. It’s always the similar which attracts and complementary (usually mistaken for opposite) which sails a relationship through. If we’ve the right ingredients in place the relationships will become stories and real love marriages will not fail but an attraction led relationship will always have its doom looking from the third eye.
So the ingredients are important to make the perfect dish. Since you get know a person better in a love relationship than meeting someone for an arrange setup, the probability of wrong judgment reduces in cases where you know the person before hand and have been into a relationship with the person to know them better, but you gotta be wise enough to read between the lines carefully and not flow with the excitement. So those relationships which sail through around us sure would have these ingredients irrespective of their platform of being arranged or love.
Cheers!
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